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Commit to Failure, Y’all!

What would it take to change a government? To revolutionize it? First, people would have to see that the government was a festering, onanistic, self-sustaining pile of shit, right? That’s easy! I mean, surely, if a government gets to that point, every person in the country is hip to it, yeah? Maybe not. I mean, … Continue reading »

Categories: Cannibalism, Capitalism, Death, Fighting, Happiness, Nietzsche | 1 Comment

Your Arm’s Got A Death In It

Sometimes I feel like a complete pussie.  I look at how cushy and safe everything I do is and it makes me disgusted with myself.  I don’t know what it is, but there’s something inside me that spurs me toward suffering.  Somewhere, buried deep underneath my yen for comfort and familiarity is a thing that … Continue reading »

Categories: Death, Driving, Happiness, J.D. Salinger, Nietzsche, Scooters, vespa, vietnam | 2 Comments

Everything Is Burning

Me being so remotely located, some of you may have come to miss my sometimes psychotic anti-Capitalist ranting.  Well, despair no more!  Lo and behold: Occupy Wall Street (or anywhere) is going to fail and it breaks my fucking heart to think about another generation watching their soon-to-be desiccated dreams getting fucked to death by … Continue reading »

Categories: Cannibalism, Capitalism, Death, Fighting, Happiness, Nietzsche, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Amused To Death

If your children aren’t wracked with fear and completely misinformed about historical events, you aren’t doing your job.  Fortunately, there are places in Vietnam that do the heavy lifting for you.  Time is money and those precious hours you waste popping wheelies while your unhelmeted child does a soft shoe on the seat behind you … Continue reading »

Categories: Cannibalism, Death, Demons, Dinosaurs, Driving, Happiness, Ice, J.D. Salinger, Nietzsche, Roller Skating, Superman, Uncategorized, vietnam, vietnamese | Leave a comment

I’ve Been Double-Crossed One Too Many Times

As a young teabagger (NOT the Republican kind) I often wondered what kind of man I would become.  By which I mean, I wondered what I was going to be like when I died tragically at 21.  Rather cruelly, I was allowed to live beyond the legal drinking age. So little time… Somewhere between Han … Continue reading »

Categories: Captain Kirk, David Lister, Denny's, Diarrhea, Fighting, Ghostbusters, HAL9000, Han Solo, Happiness, Helmet Fighting, Hot Dogs, Indiana Jones, James Bond, Nietzsche, Snoop Dogg, Star Trek, The Grinch, vietnam | Leave a comment

It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Plane To Cry

The Buddha, a fruit sculpture and the ghost of an eel walk into Richard Nixon’s wedding Today, while driving my scooter, I caught my pants on the teeth of an eel hanging out of a box on the back of someone else’s scooter.  Then a monk almost front-ended me because I was gob-smacked at the … Continue reading »

Categories: bilbo, Lord of the Rings, Nietzsche, rockets, skeksis, The Dark Crystal, vespa, vietnam, vietnamese, wedding | 2 Comments