Here are some shots from when we were in Rome. It’s taking a hot minute to edit this shit, but I’m getting there, so cool your jets if you’re waiting on this shit. It’s coming.
Rome was nice. Vy was eaten up by the mosquitoes and it was expensive, but it was really cool. It was fun to walk around somewhere so old. It’s hard to conceptualize because my country doesn’t really have any history to speak of. Rome is stained with that shit everywhere. It’s a really cool town, but nowhere near as accessible and pleasant as Athens. I’d live in Athens, but it’d take some real cash money to get me to live in Rome. Though, it’d be neat to live in the cradle of Western Civilization.
Enjoy the photos!
Charlie and Vy
I don’t know what Vy is doing here. Sneezing? Your guess is as good as mine.
I almost got into a fight with this aging hippy and Vy is probably judging me negatively in this photo. The line for the Collesseum is a cruel, dog-eat-dog world and I was just trying to maintain some civility. Through the application of force.
This building demanded some penis shaped Nascars driving around it, but none were to be had.
Cool column crown.
Slavery and tigers. Real.
Tile Owl has some shit to say for those who have some shit to listen.
Again, a cool font.
I took several shots of the collesseum. It’s a neat space and I had not seen it since I was little. I didn’t remember a god’am thing about it.
Vy, gazing upon the Collesseum.
These were the cheap seats. Not the nose-bleeds, but the cheap seats.
That’s where lions, tigers, bears and Christians were kept. It’s a shame to treat animals like that.
I don’t know why I did so many of these?
Maybe there was a reason.
But it has been forgotten.
Vy relaxing like people have for millenia.
This pigeon has no respect for history. Herstory, however, is this pigeon’s jam.
Inside the bowels of the Collesseum.
Probably the fates. Probably. I don’t remember. Those are fate teats. For sure.
Vy doesn’t approve of art and culture. No sir, she doesn’t like it.
Just seeing you guys again is such a bas relief.
Rome had a giant snake problem.
Such a naughty nanny.
This dude is the fucking dude. Tool wrote a song about this guy. The twist is: that song was Stinkfist.
The Collesseum is under repair and has been, apparently, for a hot minute. It looks a little less exciting with all the scaffolding. I can’t imagine what it’s like for people who live around this shit and see it every day to get to a point where they don’t give a fuck about these giant monuments to human awesomeness.
Some Collesseum shots.
Vy outside the Collesseum.
Some of the city from outside the original down-town Rome.
The foot of one of the fabled “Stone Giants” that roamed the area long ago.
A cool font.
This is an altar that was, I shit you not, erected for and dedicated to “The Nameless God”. If I ever go back in time and become a god in some ironic sci-fi fiction, I will totally call myself The Nameless God.
Ding dong and others.
This fucking kid. God’am.
Top of a statue’s head.
Statue head pile.
Some sweet column crown molding.
A sweet column for the glory of Minerva.
Same but different.
Vy with wings.
Vy with more wings. I couldn’t operate a flash in here. Shit was brutal.
More ladies. You can see their skin underneath the marble clothes. I mean, not really, but it’s a really neat trick of the carver and a testament to their unsurpassed skill.
A temple for somebody or something?
Vy in an abandoned bath house built and used (or rebuilt and built up) during Augustus’ reign.
Fancy bath house-related stuff.
Vy getting her drank on. We drank this, which, in retrospect, might not have been cool. I’m not sure. I mean, it’s Rome, not some rathole in Vietnam or something, right? We’re definitely not going to die from gut bacteria.
I think this was converted into a church. There was some sort of wedding shit that looked monotheistic and BORING.
A cool old door.
Romulus and Remus. Wolves teats not shown.
A fucking horse!
We’ve got big columns,
Columns of all shapes and sizes!
We have used columns!
Come down to Vy’s Column Emporium and get a great deal on a fucking column!
All your column needs in one place!
We also have triumphal arches!
Do you want to celebrate a military victory?
Some sort of symbolically important event that wasn’t actually important, but requires some sort of monument in order to cement your narrative of importance?
We’ve got you covered!
If you need an arch, we’ve got your arch. Also your columns. That’s our slogan: If you need arches, we’ve got arches and also columns.
Vy walking down streets that are thousands of years old.
More cool fonts.
This was all swamp land.
Here’s a museum we didn’t go to.
More of that museum.
Vy in a Roman subway station
Vy in a Roman subway car with real, Roman, subway car stench!
Real Roman people! Some of them, probably.
An empty corner with graffito
On a corner in Rome.
A triumphal column or some bullshit for some fucking popey piece of shit. This column depicts commoners on the bottom and rich people up top. I think it’s a stair-way to heaven-type thing. Fucking rich people.
A thing either taken from Egypt or ripped-off from them.
A thing. A serious, dome-shaped building.
Vy in front of said building.
This once had gods in it. They yanked that shit out and jammed a bunch of Jesusy shit in here. Probably. I’m not sure.
This kicks ass, but I don’t know what happens when it rains. Perhaps it just gets wet in here?
Vy in some natural, indoor light.
This is where Cesar was slain. Now cats live there. There was some sort of plaque thing found here recently that makes history dudes think this is where the deed was done.
This building’s texture is kick-ass and totally King Koopa inspired.
I dig this building’s shape.
A cool molding on some building down town.
Vy is tired.
Remember, we all die. Some of us get to go to heaven. Like, 120,000ish people. We’re all going to pee on you suckers from heaven.
Boca de veritas
Vy didn’t get bit.
Vy near the big Triumphal Arch near the Collesseum.
A tiny car. Shit’s real.
Somebody snuck some ancient shit up in here.
Vy at our bus stop.
Me in the shade of our bus stop.
The Vatican. I didn’t catch on fire, which strongly suggests that Glob ain’t real.
For the cats. Please. Think of the cats.
Vy looking at some art. I think it’s Abraham Lincoln. Maybe?
This statue is super kick ass. This angel is sad as fuck. This lady’s husband was so bummed when she died that he carved this weeping, distraught angel for her grave. I think it was the last thing he carved. It’s pretty fucking sad.
Percy Bysche Shelley is buried here. I saw his works and trembled, but only a little bit. My manhood is secure.
A pyramid made when Egypt became fashionable in the empire
I don’t know what this shit says. It’s cool, though.
Me at the pee-ruh-meeds.
Keats’ grave. And his buddy.
One-eyed cat at the cemetery.
Me looking at a mausoleum that some rich American broad built for her husband’s corpse until it could be returned to the states. The story is on an engraving. It’s kind of nice because the lady spent a lot of time thanking the people that helped her and her husband.
Really legit-looking feet.
Some paper tree flowers.
Sleeping marble lady.
That one bummer-of-an-Angel’s feet.
This is a two-eyed cat. I think it’s related to the other, but maybe I’m just racist.
More collesseum. Just in case.
That cool room.
A cool shot of an old bit of town.
Cesar! Hail, Cesar!