Rob Vy and I went to Colorado and climbed a really tall mountain at our own peril. You can watch us suffer through the magic of photographs!
Our climb was a qualified success. I think the lesson we all learned was, we are old, in shitty shape and will surely die when the zombies come. So, please take this adventure with us and gaze upon our failure.
This is Rob and I on our first night there. We were planning on several nights, but that was when we were younger and more naive.
So, for a little background, we thought it would be awesome to climb Mt. Massive in Colorado. It’s the 2nd highest peak in the contigious United States. We thought it would be fun and it was. It was also terrible.
Ours. We made this campsite.
This is the next morning. We figured
We thoguht that we would acclimate to the altitude overnight.
Here’s Rob, full of hope and piss and vinegar.
I can’t accurately describe what this was like. We had walked very little distance at this point but we were having to take hearty breaks every 10 or 15 minutes.
I imagine that our experience walking at high altitude is like what smokers experience. I don’t get that shit. Why would you do that to yourself? This shit was awful.
Vy was really exhausted. She was like a tired, sad squirrel. She was totally fine on the trip down, however.
Mt. Massive is part of the Colorado Trail. We saw a lot of other hikers. Many of them marvelled at how much shit we were carrying to the peak. This should have tipped us off harder, but we are dumb.
A babbling brook.
A slippery log.
Rob about 100 steps into a 300 hundred step chunk. We thought this was a slow pace, but we ended up doing 10 step chunks later on.
This is how Vy felt. All of us, really.
Vy and Rob.
I ran up ahead of them to take this picture and they felt like I was being a show-off.
A field. A mountainous, alive-hilled field.
These are some pretty nice landscape bits. Vy shot these.
Some flowers for scale.
This is where we rest before attempting the final push to the top (the peak is that middle mountain back there).
Rob confused about something.
Rob and I banishing sexy to the realm of shadows where it was doomed to spend eternity prior to Justin Timberlake’s futile attempt to ressurrect it.
This is Rob about half way up the actual summit-bit. He’s as crushed as he looks.
This was the most difficult hike/climb I’ve ever done. It was so fucking hard. I can’t properly articulate how challenging and fatiguing it was.
Suddenly it started hailing. I popped this little tent thing and yelled at Rob and Vy to get in. Rob looked at me and had to weigh for a long time the amount of effort it would take to walk the 15 steps to me and getting killed by a piece of hail. Vy of course, stood outside and took pictures.
The hail was all tiny, it turned out, but it was still pelting and stinging.
This is one of the many storms that rolled over the mountain top while we were trying to get up.
You can just see Rob down there.
That tiny figure is Vy.
More looking down.