If Martin Shkreli got a dollar every time somebody bitched about him, he’d probably still make less than he does at his day job. He makes, what I am compelled to assume, is a disgustingly amazing amount of money at his day job.

However- since this point has been completely lost on seemingly every single news entity and individual I’ve spoken to- let’s make sure we acknowledge what he really “did wrong”.

The only thing- the only thing- Martin Shkreli did differently from all the other rich, blood-sucking pieces of shit on this planet (and there are so, so many of them), was speak plainly and speak for himself. That’s right. The thing he did that has everyone so mad is this: he didn’t have a PR person spin or prevaricate on his behalf. Martin Shkreli’s sin isn’t jacking up prices, being a dick, or buying rare albums. The only thing Martin Shkreli did “wrong” was freely admit in public what he does for his company behind closed doors.


Hi, America. I'm Jeff Immelt, CEO of GE. We paid less than 0$ in taxes from 2008-2012. I'd just like to say: fuck you, America. Fuck you very much.
Hi, America. I’m Jeff Immelt, CEO of GE. We paid less than 0$ in taxes from 2008-2012. I’d just like to say: fuck you, America. Fuck you very much.

In case that didn’t sink in, millions of rich motherfuckers across the planet are doing far worse things, every minute of every day, than hiking up prices on HIV/AIDS medications. Fuck, I wouldn’t be at all shocked or surprised if you told me there was a company somewhere, right now, making a decision that actively spreads HIV/AIDS rather than losing a couple of bucks. Martin Shkreli just nakedly stated what he does and defiantly didn’t kowtow when “caught”. Most other rich cunts pretend to be sorry and barf out all sorts of mia culpa-colored palliatives when they’re spotted and “outed” in the public forum. Martin Shkreli simply didn’t engage in a meaningless cultural ritual before he went back to squeezing money from everyone. That doesn’t make him a badguy. That makes him an honest guy in a fucked up, broken, insane world.

The bad news for all you clocked-in, zoned-out, American Dream-huffing dipshits is this: the bad guy/girl/person is you. You are the villain. Not Shkreli. You. You go to work. You accept a 40-60 hour work week. You accept time away from your families, your kids, your loved ones. You accept not having any money in your savings account. You accept a pitiful interest rate from the bank that gets rich off your collective deposits. You accept political candidates that work for the rich. You accept the mass-privatization of formerly public services. You accept laws and a legal system in general that work only to defend the wealthy. You accept police officers who are defacto tools of the upper class. You accept a broken fucking system that perpetuates the sort of misery that Shkreli and his ilk thrive on. You.

Just a few more years of this, and I’ll be the one doing the stepping! American Dream, here I come!

Until the day when Americans are committed to financial equality and not doped into believing in some bullshit afterlife-like promise of wealth for all their hard work, we are all complicit. Every minute you spend not spreading dissent about how unnecessarily unfair life is for the poor and lower middle class, every day that goes by without you reminding some kid how shitty the world is going to be if they just show up and work and go to sleep for the next 60 years, every day you continue to support banks, stock traders, CEOs, medical companies and a government that willfully slumbers through its people’s suffering, you are to blame.

The sweat and life that the American Machine pulls from you are used to grease the gears of the device that throws money at people like Shkreli.

So- and this is important- do something about it, or shut the fuck up about the dude.

4 thoughts on “Shkreli Ain’t the Bad Guy

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